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My Egocentric Boss is Obsessed with Me: Understanding and Dealing with Workplace Narcissism

my egocentric boss is obsessed with me

my egocentric boss is obsessed with me

Working under an egocentric boss can be a challenging and draining experience. Their constant need for attention, admiration, and control can create a toxic work environment that affects not only your productivity but also your mental well-being. In some cases, this obsession can become personal, with the boss fixating on a particular employee. In this article, we will explore the signs of an egocentric boss, understand the reasons behind their obsession, and provide strategies for dealing with this challenging situation.

Signs of an Egocentric Boss

Before delving into the specifics of an egocentric boss’s obsession, it is crucial to identify the signs that indicate their narcissistic tendencies. Here are some common traits to watch out for:

  • Constant need for admiration and praise
  • Exaggerated sense of self-importance
  • Lack of empathy towards others
  • Exploitative behavior to achieve personal goals
  • Belief in their superiority and entitlement
  • Difficulty accepting criticism or feedback

These signs may manifest in various ways, such as taking credit for others’ work, belittling colleagues, or disregarding the opinions and feelings of their subordinates. However, when an egocentric boss becomes fixated on a particular employee, the situation can escalate to a whole new level.

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The Reasons Behind the Obsession

Understanding the underlying reasons for an egocentric boss’s obsession with a specific employee is crucial in finding effective ways to deal with the situation. While each case may vary, here are some common factors that contribute to this behavior:

Threat to Their Ego

An egocentric boss may become obsessed with an employee who poses a threat to their inflated sense of self. This threat can arise from the employee’s competence, skills, or popularity among colleagues. The boss sees the employee as a challenge to their authority and feels the need to assert dominance and control.


Need for Validation

Egocentric individuals often seek validation and admiration from others to boost their fragile self-esteem. When they find an employee who consistently provides the desired validation, they become fixated on that person. The employee’s praise and admiration become a source of emotional nourishment for the boss, leading to an unhealthy obsession.

Manipulation and Power Play

In some cases, an egocentric boss may target a specific employee as part of a power play or manipulation tactic. By obsessing over the employee, the boss gains control and leverage over them. This control can be used to exploit the employee’s skills, time, or resources for personal gain.

Strategies for Dealing with an Obsessed Boss

Dealing with an egocentric boss’s obsession can be emotionally draining and challenging. However, there are strategies you can employ to protect yourself and maintain your sanity in the workplace:

1. Document Everything

Keep a record of all interactions, including emails, messages, and conversations, with your boss. This documentation can serve as evidence in case the situation escalates or you need to seek assistance from HR or higher management.


2. Set Boundaries

Establish clear boundaries with your boss and communicate them assertively. Let them know what you are comfortable with and what crosses the line. By setting boundaries, you assert your autonomy and reduce the chances of your boss’s obsession affecting your personal and professional life.

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3. Seek Support

Reach out to trusted colleagues, mentors, or friends who can provide emotional support and guidance. Discussing your experiences with someone who understands can help alleviate the stress and anxiety caused by an obsessed boss.

4. Focus on Your Work

Redirect your energy towards your work and personal growth. By excelling in your tasks and continuously improving your skills, you can build confidence and resilience. This focus on personal development can also serve as a distraction from your boss’s obsession.

5. Seek Mediation

If the situation becomes unbearable, consider seeking mediation or intervention from HR or a neutral third party. Present your documented evidence and explain the impact of your boss’s obsession on your well-being and productivity. Mediation can help facilitate a resolution or provide guidance on further steps to take.



1. How can I differentiate between a boss who is genuinely interested in my growth and one who is obsessed with me?

A genuinely interested boss will focus on your professional development, provide constructive feedback, and support your growth. They will also show interest in the well-being and success of other employees. On the other hand, an obsessed boss will display excessive attention, seek constant validation, and disregard the growth of other team members.

2. Can an obsessed boss’s behavior be changed?

Changing an egocentric boss’s behavior can be challenging, as it requires them to acknowledge their narcissistic tendencies and be open to personal growth. However, by setting boundaries, seeking support, and documenting their behavior, you may be able to mitigate the impact of their obsession on your work and well-being.

3. How can I protect myself from the negative effects of an obsessed boss?

Protecting yourself from the negative effects of an obsessed boss involves maintaining your boundaries, focusing on your work and personal growth, seeking support, and documenting any inappropriate behavior. By prioritizing your well-being and professional development, you can minimize the impact of their obsession on your life.

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4. Should I confront my boss about their obsession?

Confronting your boss about their obsession should be approached with caution. It is essential to assess the potential consequences and whether it is worth the risk. If you decide to confront them, choose a calm and private setting, express your concerns assertively, and provide specific examples of their behavior that have affected you negatively.


5. When should I consider leaving my job due to an obsessed boss?

Leaving a job due to an obsessed boss is a personal decision that depends on various factors, such as the severity of the situation, the impact on your well-being, and the availability of alternative opportunities. If the obsession is causing significant distress and affecting your mental health, it may be worth considering a change for your own sake.


Dealing with an egocentric boss who is obsessed with you can be a challenging and emotionally draining experience. By recognizing the signs of an egocentric boss, understanding the reasons behind their obsession, and employing effective strategies, you can protect yourself and maintain your well-being in the workplace.

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